Fruit of the Spirit: Joy in the Midst of Sorrow, Pain and Trials

This is the third post in our blog series by Karis Women on Galatians 5:22, check out the rest of the series here.

What actions or faces pop into your head when you hear the word “joy”? Do you see laughter and big smiles? Do you think amusement parks and parties? Do you think of that coworker you want to smack, because she is just too bubbly?  Maybe we have the wrong definition of joy. 

What does the world say to us about joy? 

I think the world is constantly telling us that joy equals happiness and happiness comes from people and things. Now, don't get me wrong. I think God blesses us with people in our lives and with our treasures, but the world tells us that a spouse will complete us. Sex will complete us. That perfect number on the bathroom scale will make us joyful. The world tells us that a title, a huge bank account, or “finding ourself” traveling in another county will make us happy. The world tells us a large house with a boat and three car garage means that we have arrived. And if we have arrived, we must be happy. 

What does the Bible say to us about joy? 

In Philippians 4:4, Paul writes, "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice." Further down in those verses he explains a lesson about joy that I've had to learn the hard way over the last several years:

“Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need” (Philippians 4:11-12).

The crazy thing about joy in my life is that I can look back and think about the way I wrongly thought of joy during different seasons of my life. As a child I went through several dramatic life changing events and I still laughed, enjoyed life, and thrived. I thought I had joy. I didn’t know who Christ was, and I certainly did not know I needed a Savior, but I was happy. Through my teenage years and college years, I laughed, I cried, and I looked forward to getting up each day. I thought I had joy. I didn't know Jesus and anyone that spoke that name to me seemed like a big jerk. When I was twenty-one I realized what the gospel meant. I had people living difficult lives around me but seemed so peaceful. They shared their heartaches with me but pointed me to the cross. They told me we all are sinners, and we all need a savior. That Savior is Christ. I finally understood. The first Bible verse I memorized was Psalm 16:11, telling me in Christ’s presence is fullness of joy. I “found” myself. HA!  I then spent many years being happy doing things, but tagging it with theologically correct terms, like joy. I learned the proper God-centered terminology. 

But I can truly say that I've never had to really struggle with the true biblical definition of joy until facing six years of chronic pain and medical problems. To face another abnormal blood test without answers, to be crying in your bed because you physically can't get up, to desperately want to play football with your kids but each step requires ten times the effort - those are the things that have forced me to see my need and forced me to see my Savior. It is not happiness and it is not health that brings joy. It is not a working vehicle and a fixed up home. It is not well-behaved children. It is not the perfect job. It is not a husband or perfect friendships. Those kind of things are not bad, but if that's what we are striving for, then we are in for huge disappointments. 

I think I am finally starting to realize that I can have true joy because I have experienced deep sorrow. I see my limitations. I see my angry, grouchy, true heart in the midst of trials. I have come to some points that all I can do is fall on the floor and cry out to a sovereign God for help. How am I to understand my need if trials do not come? How can I abound if I am not brought low?  I have done a disservice to myself thinking that joy means I can't be sad. There are days that people ask me, “How are you doing?" with a sad, tilted face. That usually is a nice way for people to say how bad I look. I have stumbled upon something precious when I realize that I can tell people my body is doing horrible, but my heart is doing well. Sometimes I might even need to tell them that I'm sad about my circumstances, but I'm still trusting in our great God. Now sometimes I tell people that my body is horrible, and my heart is also in a bad place. Those are the times my faithful Karis Church family will hold me or pray with me. Those are maybe the times God is showing us all exactly what joy and sorrow look like as the body of Christ. Romans 12:15 says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” The body of Christ has certainly done this with me. I would not see Jesus on those low days if it were not for my family pointing me to the cross over and over and over again.  

Several years ago, when I could barely move on a Sunday morning, I went to church like usual. I sang with joy, I wept because I was so tired of the pain, but my heart was joyful and faithful. I sat listening to the sermon, trying very hard to focus, even though I was very distracted by the intense pain from my neck and straight up into my brain. God has been very gracious to me in those times. He is in control, and He is very good to me. After the gathering a beautiful friend of mine came up and said, "I know you feel bad today and to see you in the front row with your arm raised in worship, through pain, made my heart grieve, but I'm so thankful to have been distracted by you today.” Wow! I think about that day often. I know that means God is at work in me. He will use my pain for His glory.  I remind myself of those times as I scroll through the memories on my Facebook page, and I weep thinking how easy my days were without pain. Our lives are not meant to be easy; they are meant to bring our Lord glory. My heart will still choose to sing, “blessed be the name of the Lord,” because God has given me the Holy Spirit. I can still choose to sing that because I’m not looking for happiness, I'm looking for joy. Joy comes from Christ alone. I will rejoice in that. 

I have to add that several times writing this blog on joy I was grouchy to my husband, and I was highly annoyed by my children’s interruptions. How ironic and amusing is that? I am writing about joy while I am not pleasant to be around right now. Obviously, God is still at work in me. I am not complete yet, but I am being sharpened. I will end with my favorite lyrics from an Austin Stone song. Joy comes from Christ alone. Jesus is better. The world tries to tell us to find comfort and riches in things that will truly never satisfy. If you know Jesus, continue to pray for your heart to keep believing. If you do not know Christ, pray for your heart to believe. Come spend a day with the Larson family while we daily fight for joy in Christ alone. I pray whatever circumstances you are going through right now that you are content. Praise be to our great God! 

In all my sorrows
Jesus is better, make my heart believe
In every vict’ry
Jesus is better, make my heart believe
Than any comfort
Jesus is better, make my heart believe
More than all riches
Jesus is better, make my heart believe
Our souls declaring:
Jesus is better, make my heart believe
Our song eternal:
Jesus is better, make my heart believe